i want you for the better

For a time, I refused to read anything not listed on "The Modern Library's 100 Best Novels." This was O.K. then because hardly anyone else was chewing up stacks upon stacks of "great works" (I admittedly did not really understand) through their summer breaks.

They took me up without knowledge of demands.

Holden Caulfield was introduced to the world over fifty years ago, and I understand why we still love him. He voiced my own teenage sensitivity & angst in ways I never could have without sounding exhibitionist & phony. With a jaded voice, he made me feel hideous, & still - made me feel beautiful to be so ugly.

On his own carousel, Caufield has been reinventing himself for the past fifty-seven years - continuously replaying his past losses, & afraid of future connections. The problem is despite his famous cynicism - he is beyond sensitive and locked in finding who he was - not who he is. We haven't been immortalized in novels, and our presentness is very much real. Rather than fear repeatability - I suppose the best we can do is, well, 1) Fall in love, or 2) Involve involve involve ourselves.

Test: This song should make bring tears, quite literally.
Sigur Rós - Festival

The Call - Regina Spektor